One Year Old!

This afternoon right around 3, Mary Jeanne will turn one year old. What do I have to say to you on your first birthday? Well, surrounded by lots of family and friends we celebrated last night with a Spring time BBQ. Everyone remarked about having their first brat or gin and tonic of the season, about how great it felt that Spring was finally here, how desperate we all were for the beautiful weather and season change. This really resonated with me. I think that your birth last year was timed perfectly in the course of the year - from your first day on the scene you refreshed us, renewed us and made us so grateful for new growth, new life.


And nothing has changed. You have been a pleasure all year round and I truly don't know what we would have done without you. Your brothers adore you. last night while we were saying prayers, I asked Seamus if he remembered when we went to the hospital to have you. He said yes, he remembered being with grandma and grandpa. I asked if he remembered what he wanted to name you, and he smiled wryly and said "Batman". He laughed a little and said how silly that sounded - it was fun to see that in a year he has changed so much too. He then smirked and said "I guess we should have named her The Joker". But not too much.

Yesterday afternoon you got your first ride on Finn's bike (which was Seamus's even before that). He got on the front and you wrapped your arms around his tummy and held on as he careened around the yard. I kept telling Finn that when he was your age he used to do the same thing with Seamus. He smiled a HUGE smile. He loves being your big brother.

I didn't expect that having a daughter would be wildly different than having a son, but I am aware of more and more examples of how subtle the difference can be. I think of Katie sleeping with her Mom for the week after Tom died, that's a comfort that a son would struggle to provide. I think of a mother watching her own daughter become a mother. There is something so personal and powerful in childbirth that I image that your mother can truly appreciate your experience in a totally unique way. I am surprised by these little revelations - they happen all the time - swapping clothes or shoes - handing down first communion dresses or wedding dresses - these are things that we may or may not share - but the opportunity to do so - for me feels like such an enormous blessing.

You've already missed out on some very important people, but you have filled up our lives in a way that lets us know how important it is to go on. Each little milestone - a wave goodbye or a game of peek-a-boo - is such a gift.

We had a wild sort of day yesterday. After playing in the sun most of the morning and neglecting my party organizing jobs, I got ready to put you and your brothers down for a nap. While I was changing your diaper I noticed that you had something in your mouth. I reached in my finger and pulled out three staples still stuck together. You weren't choking - just rolling them around with your tongue. So I called the doctor and got your brothers into the car and we drove all the way to Osseo to see the doctor. You sat through the x-rays like a champ and flirted with the technician as he was getting you all ready. You certainly didn't seem like a child with sharp metal embedded in your stomach. And of course you weren't. Everything checked out fine and your hadn't swallowed any - but it gave me such a scare - I have to admit I had a little cry when we all got loaded back into the car. You are just so precious to us. So the party went on, the scare maybe even prioritized how organized I really needed to be, and we had a great time celebrating the first, wonderful year of your life.



Blessings on you, Sweetheart. You are so loved. Your namesake called this morning at 7:15 to sing you happy birthday, a special ring of joy in her voice. You have blessed us, but also as more birthdays pass, you'll see how blessed you are by all the people who love and adore you. But none will more than your dad, your brothers and myself. Happy first Birthday, MJ.