One Year Old!

This afternoon right around 3, Mary Jeanne will turn one year old. What do I have to say to you on your first birthday? Well, surrounded by lots of family and friends we celebrated last night with a Spring time BBQ. Everyone remarked about having their first brat or gin and tonic of the season, about how great it felt that Spring was finally here, how desperate we all were for the beautiful weather and season change. This really resonated with me. I think that your birth last year was timed perfectly in the course of the year - from your first day on the scene you refreshed us, renewed us and made us so grateful for new growth, new life.


And nothing has changed. You have been a pleasure all year round and I truly don't know what we would have done without you. Your brothers adore you. last night while we were saying prayers, I asked Seamus if he remembered when we went to the hospital to have you. He said yes, he remembered being with grandma and grandpa. I asked if he remembered what he wanted to name you, and he smiled wryly and said "Batman". He laughed a little and said how silly that sounded - it was fun to see that in a year he has changed so much too. He then smirked and said "I guess we should have named her The Joker". But not too much.

Yesterday afternoon you got your first ride on Finn's bike (which was Seamus's even before that). He got on the front and you wrapped your arms around his tummy and held on as he careened around the yard. I kept telling Finn that when he was your age he used to do the same thing with Seamus. He smiled a HUGE smile. He loves being your big brother.

I didn't expect that having a daughter would be wildly different than having a son, but I am aware of more and more examples of how subtle the difference can be. I think of Katie sleeping with her Mom for the week after Tom died, that's a comfort that a son would struggle to provide. I think of a mother watching her own daughter become a mother. There is something so personal and powerful in childbirth that I image that your mother can truly appreciate your experience in a totally unique way. I am surprised by these little revelations - they happen all the time - swapping clothes or shoes - handing down first communion dresses or wedding dresses - these are things that we may or may not share - but the opportunity to do so - for me feels like such an enormous blessing.

You've already missed out on some very important people, but you have filled up our lives in a way that lets us know how important it is to go on. Each little milestone - a wave goodbye or a game of peek-a-boo - is such a gift.

We had a wild sort of day yesterday. After playing in the sun most of the morning and neglecting my party organizing jobs, I got ready to put you and your brothers down for a nap. While I was changing your diaper I noticed that you had something in your mouth. I reached in my finger and pulled out three staples still stuck together. You weren't choking - just rolling them around with your tongue. So I called the doctor and got your brothers into the car and we drove all the way to Osseo to see the doctor. You sat through the x-rays like a champ and flirted with the technician as he was getting you all ready. You certainly didn't seem like a child with sharp metal embedded in your stomach. And of course you weren't. Everything checked out fine and your hadn't swallowed any - but it gave me such a scare - I have to admit I had a little cry when we all got loaded back into the car. You are just so precious to us. So the party went on, the scare maybe even prioritized how organized I really needed to be, and we had a great time celebrating the first, wonderful year of your life.



Blessings on you, Sweetheart. You are so loved. Your namesake called this morning at 7:15 to sing you happy birthday, a special ring of joy in her voice. You have blessed us, but also as more birthdays pass, you'll see how blessed you are by all the people who love and adore you. But none will more than your dad, your brothers and myself. Happy first Birthday, MJ.

Happy, Happy Birthday Dad

Today is my father's 76th birthday. We celebrated last night with some linguine and clams, a little strawberry short cake, some good wine and a lot of very loud conversation. I don't need to wax on about dad because the truest blessing for and by my father is that he knows how much he is loved and maybe even more importantly he embraces how much he loves his wife, his kids, his grandkids...his life.

He told some familiar stories and we enjoyed the comfort and very loud solidarity that being together as family brings. He is blessed (maybe because he can't hear that well and with this crowd that truly is a blessing) and nobody knows it better than him. In fact my mother came over today to watch the kids for an hour while James and I completed the refinance of our house. And she told me that dad "yabbed on the whole way home last night about 'all our blessings' and I told him that I'd knock his block off if he said it one more time." Classic.

Here is a link to last year's post after his birthday. Every birthday is a good one - especially for a guy like him. Happy Birthday, Dad.

http://doughertyclan.blogspot.com/2007/04/happy-birthday-grandpa-dj.html

McDonald's Genius

So I haven't gotten McDonalds for the kids in more than a year and a half, but yesterday after a fun trip to the Science Museum, I caved in and I took the three kids through the drive through. Seamus was beyond excited about this and remembered pretty much everything about what he could order and if he'd get a good toy. This is amazing to me. We do not let the kids watch commercial TV - the only thing besides movies they can watch is PBS. As we were driving toward it, Seamus literally yelled "There's the sign! We're getting close!"

As the day went on the brilliance of McDonald's business model became even more evident. First of all, it ain't about the food. It's tasty albeit terrible for you. It's cheap. It feels like a treat both for me and the kids because they enjoy it and it is SO easy an event. The kids each get their own bag with cool pictures. They get chocolate milk in a premixed bottle - which to them is almost like magic. And of course the toy. All for less than 7 dollars.

So I've been feeling a little blah lately and we all needed a good day for the kid's sake as well as mine. They boys were great at the museum and we got to see Auntie Sarah. But I was still reaping the benefit of the McDonalds trip several hours later. I had to take a picture. The boys played with their new "guys" for more than an hour while I was cleaning up the kitchen and getting dinner ready. MJ hung with them for most of it too, just playing with Lego's near her brothers. Chris and Cathy bought the kids the complete audio books of the Chronicles of Narnia last Christmas and so they were listening as they played. This was the most peace I've had in a long time. Thanks, McDonalds.

On a side note, the kids didn't eat their fries. When I had taken them in the past, I'd always get apple dippers instead of the fries. Since I was going all out I decided once a year, they can have McDonalds fries. Neither boy would eat the fries ("I just want the apple dippers, mom") so MJ and I enjoyed ALL the leftovers. Again, Thanks McDonalds.

Grandma & MJ

Thinking of Grandma this morning and sending her love.

Andie - see that MJ is wearing Connor's old Spiderman PJs...Everyone loves being a superhero!

Goddaughters Rock

So Friday night we had a goddaughter slumber party - and James and I got a taste of what it would be like to have 8 kids under 11. Our kids thought the 'lumber party was a riot - and I think the girls did too.

But I do have to say that I was a little terrified when Eric dropped off Mary Kate, Celia and Greta. The girls entered the house screaming at full vocal power and running around like our floor was peppered with hot coals. Eric looks at me sympathetically (or maybe it was fear) and said "On the way over I talked to the girls about not being so squirrelly..."

At which point (though it seemed impossible) the screaming got louder and Eric hollered over them "Hey girls, what did we talk about in the car?" As if on perfect cue, the girls all stopped screaming, put one hand on a hip and the other pointing their index fingers and said confidently, and very loudly. "Nothing, Dad." And resumed laughing, screaming and running. Eric looked at me helplessly and said, "Call me if you want me to come back and get them tonight..."

Needless to say, everyone settled down after a little bit and we made pizzas, watched a movie and played charades. Some photos from the night including a snapshot of Lizzie and MJ who most people seem to think have a pretty strong resemblance...In fact at church a while ago some guy I don't really know said in full voice as I was carrying MJ up to communion "You can spot a Schneeman a mile away. She looks just like Liz." No hello, no smile, no acknowledgement. He was just making a statement to no one in particular. I'll have to post a baby picture of her and set up a new poll. By the way, who voted for the princess costume? You are no longer invited to her birthday party...

MJ Plays in the Snow

So I didn't venture out with Mary Jeanne much this winter - so I took a few pictures of her playing outside with the boys on Tuesday. Hopefully she won't get another chance...

Mom, Is There Booze in the Cake?

So my mom brought over a homemade trifle this weekend just because she's a very nice mom. Now, the thing is, my mother's trifles are usually soaked with brandy (or some sort of liquor). So when she put it on the table, Seamus looked at its glistening berries and thick homemade whipping cream and descended on it with fingers ready to be licked. So I stopped him and said "Sorry, buddy, it's a dessert for the adults."

A huge wave of disappointment washed over his face and he sulked down into the basement. So we're all chatting a few minutes later and he emerges from the basement for another try. He yells at me from the kitchen:

"Hey mom, is there booze in this cake?"

Now it's nice to know that he's still policing himself from alcohol but, really, a four year old saying "booze" as though it was "sugar" or "strawberry"...Help us all...

Hair Cutting?

So MJ doesn't have waves of luxurious thick hair, but she did have a pretty serious mullet (that's why you don't see a lot of shots of her from the back). So Grandma Barbara and I took all three kids to get a trim last week. MJ put on her haircutting best dress for the event (she's so vain).

All three kids sat quietly and had their hair cut without so much as a cringe. This is not how it goes when I chase them around the yard with my summer shears. Talk about money well spent (thanks Grandma). It was a much more pleasant experience for all of us - I promise to take pictures of their next hair cut in the back yard...

Did I say Spring thaw?

So I shoveled out from under several inches of snow this morning - and I'm pretty sure that it's April...I'm hoping this is God's sense of an April fool joke and that we're done with all the white stuff until next year.

I know we've had a quite a break from blogging - but I hope to be back with renewed commitment this week (famous last words). Most people I know have had a hard time blogging lately - maybe its the end of winter doldrums or else this is just a busy time of year. But anyway, I'm back.

Grandma Barbara spent ten days with us over Easter - a very snowy Easter at that - but I think she had a good time and I know we all (especially the boys) really loved having her with us. She took the boys to see Horton Hears a Who at the Highland movie theater - Finn ate his weight in popcorn and had to use the bathroom midway through the movie (better than an accident I say). Seamus also had a special trip to Barnes and Nobles to share some stories and hot chocolate with Grandma. He picked out a few books for himself but was very clear that they'd better get an equal amount for Finn (he learned the "even piles" rule from Grandma herself). She bought a condo near Connor and Andie last week (yippee) and we are so proud of her (and excited for trips to another beach!). She and Kate closed on the same day!

But even though this was a hard first milestone for us, I am amazed at human resiliency. Barbara is remarkable. Her capacity for helping others with grief - especially the kids - as well as her ability to really laugh and share joy with the kids. She's got a rich, smiling laugh that earned her the title "Life of the Party". And she always is. We were so glad she came back for Easter this year. Easter is about reconciling the ending and new beginning of life - it's timed nicely with Spring - especially this year because everything still feels off for us. We want sunshine and tulips and yet we still slog through snow and slush - but we know its not forever. The apple trees will bloom in no time, but the wait isn't always easy. And sometimes we feel frustrated and disappointed. Being with Barbara helps us all to see the joys still present in our lives. We had lots of fun. Lots of love. And we can't wait until next time.

We also celebrated Kate's birthday on Saturday with "brunch" (who knew Frost's doesn't serve brunch on Saturday - but did you know the Capital View Cafe serves breakfast all day...same thing right...) and Sunday with a surprise Wild game (they won). Kate's been with us for about 6 months more or less out of the last year and so it's going to be a little strange when she moves into her new place this weekend. So many things have crystallized for us over the last year - and so many things are fuzzy still. I'm sure that living with her brother and his three kids hasn't always been an oasis nor has it always been perfect to share energy and space with another adult. But if we know anything to be true, it's that God gave us siblings, aunts, nephews and nieces, because family is unlike anything else. And we are grateful for every moment we have together because all of those times are precious even in their ordinariness.

We have all struggled over the last year - and struggling together isn't always easy - but for us it's been so much better than being apart. We love Katie and we are so excited for this next phase for her - the new home, the exciting job, the new friends and fresh start. It's hard not to be envious sometimes of all the exciting "newness" of the next year for her (especially when you see how cute her place is and how closely located to good coffee and shopping it is). But we feel blessed by having her so close to us - for all the fun we have right now - but also for what I know the future can bring. Long walks, gin and tonics on the porch (hers or ours), watching the kids playing sports (however hysterically), trying new restaurants, museums, concerts. Enjoying the luxury of last minutes dinners or brunches. Just being able to share our lives casually again. We know how important the everyday is - and I'm so grateful for the everydays we've enjoyed together over the last year as well as the ones that Spring will bring with it. I hope this was a happy birthday, but I also hope for an even better one next year. We love you.

I can't get pictures posted right now - so I'll add more later.