News Flash - Dougherty Kids Rule.

Once again, Seamus and Finn rocked their school photos. So begins a long string of Dougherty kids smiling their fool heads off for the camera. Special shout outs for Will and Jack - fantastically fun brothers and best buds to our boys.













Sorry posts have been so few and far between. Our camera may be completely dead. Every once in a while it breathes a short gasp - but it is really just taunting us. Hoping that financial armageddon ends here sometime and we can maybe get a new camera. We shall see.

Gender Stereotyping & Evil Knievel

So a few days ago, our neighbor Sue brought over a huge cardboard box, a sheet and some markers she had found. She had been watching the kids playing and remembered the hours of fort making that her (now older) girls had enjoyed. Our kids also love a good fort - and this was a lovely treat and a fun surprise. Once the fort of was set up (and MJ was entirely self tattooed in florescent marker), the kids settled into some imaginary playtime.

After a little while (and some uninterrupted newspaper reading for me) I heard this horribly loud, screeching screaming. It was unbelievably high pitched and I jumped up from my chair wondering what had happened to MJ. Alas, I saw the two boys running out of the fort, arms flailing wildly above their heads, and I realized the screaming was coming from them. "She's getting us! She's got a HUGE bug, Mama. A HUGE BUG!"

Out popped MJ, large beetle in her hands, gleefully chasing the boys around the yard. She was also growling a little.

The camera is (I fear) officially dead. I have missed some many funny pictures over the last few weeks - but this morning I would have given anything to have a picture of James cuddling MJ and Finn on the porch reading stories. Tender moments (I need to be reminded of these during bug chasing and potty training exploits).

Grandma Barbara sent MJ a new full sized bed for her birthday (also a matching dresser) and I'm dying to get photos of her sleeping in it. She thinks she's a queen. The boys also love the bed and have taken to laying down and reading stories to her at nap time - cheerfully telling me "It's OK mom, there's room for you too!"

We're almost finished with the 6th Harry Potter - Seamus is back to being obsessed with the story and would spend hours sitting listening to me read. This is a guilty pleasure for me because very little else gets done when we're on to a new good book. We also just finished Holes for the second time (which precipitated a lot of digging up chunks of the back yard - we will not read it again soon that is for sure).

Seamus is also learning to ride a bike without training wheels. This started last weekend with Bob and Paula. We all went to St. Kate's to try it out on the soft, grassy hills. Paula and Bob have very strong opinions about the right and wrong ways to teach a kid to ride a bike and let's just say that the first step is for Paula to encourage the kids to roll down the hill by pretending to set them on fire. Oh, the memories...

Pretend fire aside, Seamus got the hang of it almost immediately. There were a few moments when we saw terror wash over Seamus's face, but it was quickly replaced by proud smiles. Oh, what a boy! Finn brought over his big wheel and speed down the hills truly just like Evil Knievel. How he didn't break a bone, I do not know, but he sure had a good time. Finn sometimes seems fearless. And certainly a little mischievous.

I've got lots more to write - I already feel summer speeding by - but I'm out to cut the grass and go for a long run (thank God for periodic babysitting). The kids think they love Carolyn more than I do, but they are oh so wrong.

Which cousins are faster than Tommy Reid?

...all of them.

Seriously.

Even Seamus, Finn, and MJ.

MJ Birthday follow up videos!

In these videos, we have crashing presents, missed present openings, nose picking, and full memory cards. Not our best moments in filmography....

Nonetheless, we offer them for your perusal. Enjoy.










This last one shows her newfound love - the purse Andie and Connor gave to her...

Happy Birthday To You!

So today Mary Jeanne (which I've started calling you a lot lately) you turn two years old. I just went back and read last year's birthday blog and I am amazed by how much (and how quickly) we forget things. I just pains me to think of all the things that I've already lost in your first two years - every day is filled with moments of surprise and delight and these moments are covered with the a soft dusting of the next hour, the next day the next month. This blog is a sort of excavation tool for you when you're older, to sweep away the passing of time and help you see who you were (and therefore are).








MJ you are joyful, loud, loving, funny. You're talking more everyday. My favorite is whenever I ask you about something you're not interested in (or have no reason to know), you tell me "I don't know." And you'll look at me like I'm a lunatic. For example, you were playing nicely with your new dolls from Katie and I asked you if Seamus went out into the yard. You chimed "I don't know" and then if you knew how to roll your eyes, I'm sure you would have.

One thing I'm already confident about - you will not be short on personality (though you probably will be short). For your birthday post, I'll call it spunk. At the end of a long day, I usually call it something else.




You are a cuddler. In the mornings, you like to wedge yourself in between dad and I. Sometimes you like to rub backs and snuggle other times you want to play. You've got a great laugh. I love to listen to your voice, especially in the morning and especially when you're giggly.

You do genuinely love your brothers. They are your favorite source for tormenting (I would have thought it the other way around). This morning Katie stopped over to give you your present (which you are now wearing and actively playing with - a set of wooden dolls and some wonderful new clothes). While Katie and I were talking, Seamus was trying to linger and get some attention from Kate. You came and grabbed his hand and dragged him back to play with you in the sun room. He obeyed (as he usually does in your case) and we didn't get to see what you had in mind for him, but I love that you all play together. When I got you dressed in Kate's new outfit, purple shirt and khaki shorts, Finn was also changing and he announced that "You look really beautiful MJ." And then you twirled. I love the idea of developing self worth and self confidence from your older brothers (and they from you). They cheer you on in all your toddler endeavors (sitting on the potty, riding a bike, playing catch, drawing at the kitchen table). Each day is filled with moments of the boys yelling "Good job, MJ." "MJ you're getting so big." I hope this continues and I'm sure that at times it will waver, but maybe then we can come back to these words and remind ourselves how much more joy we get by being good to each other. At two years old there is nothing you love more than your brothers.








I was thinking this morning about being at the hospital - I was induced because you were overdue. I felt great, but I was ready to meet you. We were all ready for you to come into our lives. When we got to the hospital, Dr. Jaeger wanted to break my water right away. In my previous experience (I'd been induced with Finn and with Seamus they had to break my water to keep things moving), water breaking equals serious contractions. I told the doctor firmly (and she's not a woman who people usually argue with) that I'd happily start the pitocin and whatever else they wanted to do to get labor moving, but that I wanted some time to have a nap, read my magazine before "real" labor started. I told her that this was going to be my last chance to have a nap and be alone with my husband for a while and we wanted to enjoy it. And we did. two hours later she broke my water. An hour and a half after that - they rested you on my chest for the first time. Life changed for us in that instant. You expect to feel different the first time you hold your child, but you can never fully articulate how much 7 pounds can change who you are. It's happened with all three kids - the ground sort of shift underneath you when you feel the weight of what God's just given you. It is a moment of great gratitude.

We just got back from a lunch date with Dad. You told everyone who asked that you were 3. I hope you can resist growing up any faster than you already are. You ordered fruit and yogurt and waved and smiled at all the people we saw. It's funny to see you be shy - you are so much more of a clown at heart.

We had a birthday party for you, Grandpa Dan and Aunt Mary last Sunday. You were given some wonderful presents (horses seemed to be a a happy theme for you and of course the tinkerbell costume - NOT a princess costume - Dad feels very strongly about this point) and we watched old movie from when all the Schneeman's were younger (but not necessarily better looking). We had brats and lots of macaroni and cheese (compliments of MJ the grander). Three cakes and lots of fun. Uncle Nick commented that it's almost no fun when the two year old doesn't melt down on her birthday. I disagreed. It was lovely.



What else can I tell you about yourself? You are very into your "babies". Grandma Mj gave you a little stroller for them and so far it goes everywhere with you. We all took a walk earlier this week and after you tired of pushing your stroller, you picked it up and held it in your lap in our running stroller. This reminds me that I need to take a picture of the Waldvogel's hand me down running stroller. It is such a part of the fabric of our lives - during the summer we used it several times a day. It's carried groceries, booze, kids and sticks all around the neighborhood. One day, when we are done with it, I think I'll have it bronzed.

You love Curious George. Do all children? We read about George everyday. You love to answer the questions from one of the board books. "Are you curious?" "Do you ever feel happy?" "Or scared? "Or proud?" "Have you ever been naughty?" "Are you mischievous?" You love to yell "Yes!" and giggle. You are so many things. You're napping now. Sweet dreams, little girl.


I love asking you if you know who I love. You raise your hand above your head and yell "Me!" It's true. I do. Happy birthday.

Spring in His Step (all the way to the golf course)

Today, your grandpa Dan turns 77 and as the best birthday present of the day, it looks like it will be almost as warm as he is old. Seamus, you sang him happy birthday before he ran out to play tennis with grandma (they don't play against each other - they each have their own tennis groups that sometimes play at the same time). After tennis he's got a Cretin event - so he'll get to socialize with some of his friends from high school - I think it's lunch and maybe mass. After that, he'll scoot home to pick up grandma and they're heading out to play 18 holes of golf. After golf he'll have a cocktail with grandma and then she's making him liver and onions for dinner (his absolute favorite meal - BLEEEEECK!). Maybe he'll listen to the Twins game on the radio. He'll probably walk through the yard and check out what's starting to emerge. And at the end of it all, I bet he'll sleep soundly. Not a bad day in the life.

I have the lovely blessing of being able to see and talk to Grandma and Grandpa often and you kids love to stop over for lunch or a romp in the yard. I seem to find excuses to get over there - computer issues, copying the lake checkbook, booking a flight, stealing firewood and sometimes with no real reason at all. I love this (and it gives me infinite pleasure that you do too).

We've all been talking about the lake a lot lately. Grandma and grandpa are dealing with an attorney who is helping them put the lake into a form that will help it survive as a long term retreat for the whole family. I've gotten caught up in the minutia of this lately - writing notes, collecting questions, meetings and planning. And it wasn't until a few days ago that the generosity of this whole experience caught up with me.

On a sort of ridiculous lark in the 70s, Grandma and Grandpa bought a run down fishing resort with some good friends, the Tickles. It was a sacrifice and a reach for them, but they had a vision for how it might all turn out. As time went on the Tickles were bought out and the Schneeman brood took over all 7 cabins. This was fortuitous because the children were rapidly starting to produce large families of their own. Without this leap of faith, I would guess that the present would look very different for all of us. First of all, I'm guessing that these grandchildren's weddings wouldn't have to be so large.

For 20 some years, all your aunts and uncle have been helping cover the costs of the cabin, and as time has gone on some of the amounts have really started to add up. Our parents modeled sacrifice, hard work, and forward thinking. They also show us that you have to have courage, a little faith in yourself and your family and a little luck isn't anything at which to laugh. And so for their generous contributions (with no guarantee or real hope of return) and lots of sweat-equity, they spent weeks with their little kids staying and fixing up the small cabins, reading on the beach, hiking through the woods, and watching the cousins grow up together from diapers and army guys to diamond rings and grown up jobs.

And so once again, Grandma and Grandpa are modeling forward thinking for us. They are in good health, more active than most 20 year olds, and yet they are thinking about what will happen to the lake when they are gone. It is valuable to them in many ways - emotionally, financially, and as a legacy. And in the course of talking about what the future looks like at the lake, how we'll schedule and share, how we'll accommodate even larger families, I was struck by the realization that this is again an act of faith and generosity - even larger than the first.

We've known that this juggling act of keeping the lake solvent and everyone happy has not always been easy for my parents, and so for the last few years we've focused on how to relieve the stress and sort out a long term plan for them (and the lake). I think they are happy to be near the end of this long discussion.

What I realized recently though, is that this never had to be a stressful thing for my parents. They could have sold the place ages ago. The only thing that ever caused stress was their desire to keep the cabin for us, to find ways to help us work together. A beautiful, one of a kind property is not something a retired couple needs to feel stressed about - it is a goldmine. They've carried this periodic worry because they want good things for their children, and the lake is the "goodest" of good things.

They are sharing this place with us, not because it is the best thing for them, but because they believe it is the best thing for us. I will remember this lesson. I will try and earn this gift. I hope, above all things, that your dad and I honor it with our words and our actions. I hope that someday, you will look on some of the things that your dad and I have modeled for you and feel proud like I am of my parents. It's a high goal, but my parents taught me well.

Happy Birthday, Dad. Thanks for the gifts. I know you enjoy yours.