Spring in His Step (all the way to the golf course)

Today, your grandpa Dan turns 77 and as the best birthday present of the day, it looks like it will be almost as warm as he is old. Seamus, you sang him happy birthday before he ran out to play tennis with grandma (they don't play against each other - they each have their own tennis groups that sometimes play at the same time). After tennis he's got a Cretin event - so he'll get to socialize with some of his friends from high school - I think it's lunch and maybe mass. After that, he'll scoot home to pick up grandma and they're heading out to play 18 holes of golf. After golf he'll have a cocktail with grandma and then she's making him liver and onions for dinner (his absolute favorite meal - BLEEEEECK!). Maybe he'll listen to the Twins game on the radio. He'll probably walk through the yard and check out what's starting to emerge. And at the end of it all, I bet he'll sleep soundly. Not a bad day in the life.

I have the lovely blessing of being able to see and talk to Grandma and Grandpa often and you kids love to stop over for lunch or a romp in the yard. I seem to find excuses to get over there - computer issues, copying the lake checkbook, booking a flight, stealing firewood and sometimes with no real reason at all. I love this (and it gives me infinite pleasure that you do too).

We've all been talking about the lake a lot lately. Grandma and grandpa are dealing with an attorney who is helping them put the lake into a form that will help it survive as a long term retreat for the whole family. I've gotten caught up in the minutia of this lately - writing notes, collecting questions, meetings and planning. And it wasn't until a few days ago that the generosity of this whole experience caught up with me.

On a sort of ridiculous lark in the 70s, Grandma and Grandpa bought a run down fishing resort with some good friends, the Tickles. It was a sacrifice and a reach for them, but they had a vision for how it might all turn out. As time went on the Tickles were bought out and the Schneeman brood took over all 7 cabins. This was fortuitous because the children were rapidly starting to produce large families of their own. Without this leap of faith, I would guess that the present would look very different for all of us. First of all, I'm guessing that these grandchildren's weddings wouldn't have to be so large.

For 20 some years, all your aunts and uncle have been helping cover the costs of the cabin, and as time has gone on some of the amounts have really started to add up. Our parents modeled sacrifice, hard work, and forward thinking. They also show us that you have to have courage, a little faith in yourself and your family and a little luck isn't anything at which to laugh. And so for their generous contributions (with no guarantee or real hope of return) and lots of sweat-equity, they spent weeks with their little kids staying and fixing up the small cabins, reading on the beach, hiking through the woods, and watching the cousins grow up together from diapers and army guys to diamond rings and grown up jobs.

And so once again, Grandma and Grandpa are modeling forward thinking for us. They are in good health, more active than most 20 year olds, and yet they are thinking about what will happen to the lake when they are gone. It is valuable to them in many ways - emotionally, financially, and as a legacy. And in the course of talking about what the future looks like at the lake, how we'll schedule and share, how we'll accommodate even larger families, I was struck by the realization that this is again an act of faith and generosity - even larger than the first.

We've known that this juggling act of keeping the lake solvent and everyone happy has not always been easy for my parents, and so for the last few years we've focused on how to relieve the stress and sort out a long term plan for them (and the lake). I think they are happy to be near the end of this long discussion.

What I realized recently though, is that this never had to be a stressful thing for my parents. They could have sold the place ages ago. The only thing that ever caused stress was their desire to keep the cabin for us, to find ways to help us work together. A beautiful, one of a kind property is not something a retired couple needs to feel stressed about - it is a goldmine. They've carried this periodic worry because they want good things for their children, and the lake is the "goodest" of good things.

They are sharing this place with us, not because it is the best thing for them, but because they believe it is the best thing for us. I will remember this lesson. I will try and earn this gift. I hope, above all things, that your dad and I honor it with our words and our actions. I hope that someday, you will look on some of the things that your dad and I have modeled for you and feel proud like I am of my parents. It's a high goal, but my parents taught me well.

Happy Birthday, Dad. Thanks for the gifts. I know you enjoy yours.