I've had a hard time posting lately. Actually, I've had a hard time sitting down at the computer without wasting time, so I've been avoiding the office as much as possible. This also means that I haven't been doing any writing lately, which is never good.
But I did get away to Florida with James for three days and had a lovely little break. We went to Orlando (James had a conference) NOT to Disney. I have to be very careful that Seamus doesn't think we went to Disney without him (which, actually we did), but let's try and keep up appearances.
The kids spent one night with Grandma and Grandpa Schneeman which was the first time they've gotten to do this and had a lovely time. They went to several parks including Wentworth (the park of my childhood) and the Como Zoo. They had baths with jets (finally Finn isn't afraid of the tub) and grandma's famous Mac & Cheese. MJ learned the word Darnit - thanks mom - and apparently carried her "baby" around the entire stay. She also slept soundly in between Grandma and Grandpa all night (I'm guessing they slept less soundly). In the morning Grandma was still in bed, grandpa was reading the paper and MJ was apparently roaming the house unsupervised when she came and woke Grandma up.
Grandma: "MJ, are you pooey?"
MJ: "Yep."
Grandma: "Go find Grandpa."
MJ: "Yep."
Feet padding out of the room and down the stairs.
Find grandpa. Wafting nasty smell.
Grandpa changes her.
Success!
The boys apparently lived in the backyard and my dad kept saying to me that he couldn't believe how well they play together. He said he didn't remember playing with his brothers like that as a child. I reminded him that he and his brothers tricked their mom into thinking that George had stabbed him with a kitchen knife, so maybe it was best they didn't play together too much.
Carl and Meg spent the second two nights at our house getting a taste of their future. I think they are pretty happy that they are not having triplets, but I think they also had a good time. We talked to them on the phone several times and both Carl and Meg sounded like old pros. James and I laughed about it a lot - Meg using her teacher voice and Carl using his oldest boy voice. Their kids don't stand a chance for getting into any trouble.
We really appreciated this chance to get away (I didn't realize how badly James and I needed some time on our own until we actually got it). It is very nice to have an uninterrupted conversation once in a while. But the truth is that even for only three days, we missed the kids terribly (honestly) and were happy to be home. We feel so lucky to have all this family around (and willing to help). Thanks Mom and Dad, Carl and Meg!
While on vacation James and I talked a lot about what behaviors we model and want to model for the kids. It got us thinking about making bigger commitments, aiming higher than we do right now. There are so many books out right now about people who give up, or try something new for one calendar year, for example eating totally local foods, not buying anything new, or trying to follow every rule of the bible. There is something admirable about a commitment like this, but it is probably also a little deceptive too (I'd give up a lot of things for a book deal).
But this conversation did lead us to think about living more simply, more thoughtfully. Especially as the kids get older is seems so easy to get caught in the act of trying to keep up or compete. One thing that we're trying to do (since the beginning of Lent) is keep the Sabbath a day of rest and family.
It seems to me that we often equate "busy" with productive, and the truth seems to be less certain. What am I busy with? Does it really matter? Who am I serving? Who am I neglecting? Is my time more related to my things? Or to people?
So now on Sundays, we're trying to focus only on going to Church, talking walks with the family, reading (and napping) with the kids and having a nice, early family dinner in the evening. We found that in the past the jobs around the house, errands or events, made it so that by Sunday night instead of feeling rested we sat down feeling overwhelmed by the week. No matter how much you get done, it never seems like a enough. I never get to the end of my list. The laundry is never finished because none of our children stay clean for longer than three seconds.
So instead of continuing to run inside the wheel like a hamster, we're trying (focus on "trying" because it doesn't always work - I had a meeting last Sunday) to use Sunday to remind ourselves what's really important. Sometimes what's really important is complicated. What if what is keeping you racing around is for the benefit of other people (fixing family computers, making meals, visiting the elderly)? How do you find balance? We recognize that as the kids get older and have their own schedules, this idea will be harder to enforce and yet probably all the more important. If we can't do it now, we'll have no hope of doing it when the kids are involved in sports and more activities.
Life is trial and error, but it is also surprise and blessing.
More later!
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