Summer Musings

We are having such a lovely summer - I just got home from a spontaneous trip to the cabin with the kids to enjoy some cabin time with two of my sisters and a smattering of nephews and nieces. I'm just feeling very fortunate lately. It has been a beautiful summer. The kids are thriving and healthy. James and I have both have achieved some personal goals. We've got lots of good friends. We've got great family. I sound like a braggy Christmas letter - but I know these times are precious and I want to revel in them as much as I can.

We celebrated my brother Nick's 50th birthday with a surprise dinner party at the house with all of his siblings and most of his children. I think I had more fun than he did - but I'm pretty sure that he had a good time too. These little celebrations of each other and the good fortune to be able to all be together feels like such a miraculous treat. We're so grateful to live so close to Nick and the gang (but just far enough way that I don't have to worry about his urban hunting expeditions - "No, officer, I don't know that deranged man..."). Good times, good times.


We've had a great time with the Winsor clan over the last few weeks too - we watched 19 of the 21 stages of the Tour de France, enjoyed some good food and wine and learned a bit more about bike racing. Mostly we laughed and just enjoyed the time together. This time was also tinged with a bit of anxiety and apprehension as they prepared to send Eric to Iraq - the goodbyes started on the 4th and continued until today as Jeff and Paula dropped him off in Buffalo, MN to board the bus for the airport. He'll spend the next few weeks in New Jersey preparing and training before he actually leave the country. He'll be driving trucks, not very sexy, but very important none the less. I took the kids to the official send off and picnic yesterday in Buffalo. I have my own nervousness for him, and I felt it most strongly while seeing him in formation yesterday. I had my arms wrapped around Seamus and I was whispering to him what the officer was saying to the crowd, and I could feel my arms closing around him thinking about the enormous sacrafice it really is to send your children so far way. He asked me why Eric was going to war. It's hard to explain to most Americans, much less to a 4 year old. We all know its complicated, but I told him because it's what a soldier does. He or she makes a pledge to go where we believe people need defending or where people need help. And I said that's what Eric's going to do - he's made a promise to do his best to make a difference in the world. That's a good promise. We took lots of pictures - I'll add them to the post when I get them from Jeff.

So many moments have passed through us during the last few weeks - I know that I've forgotten so many already - but all I can say is that when they happened I truly enjoyed the moment. As I said before, Seamus is full of all sorts of great questions. He's growing tons too - I can hardly pick him up anymore and there is something very appropriate about how weighty he is. On Monday when I told him I decided we were going to quick pack up and drive up to the lake - he immediately remembered his fishing pole hanging in the garage and told me this was the "best news ever".

































Finn is also changing so much - he's getting taller and thinner - it feels like he looks different every day. The poor thing loves going to the lake, but he always gets sick. He's so patient and good about it too - he spend the entire ride to and from the cabin holding a bag under his chin or else asleep in his booster. Yesterday is got sick while he was a sleep - mostly on his very surprised sister - and he told me he was sorry afterwards. Seriously. I couldn't wish for a sweeter kid.













MJ has finally started walking a bit - although she is still way faster with the crab crawl. She's saying a few words - yesterday she offered me her toes while I was changing her diaper and told me to "kiss" them. It was clear as a bell and the boys and I got quite a kick out of it - I can only imagine the things she'll be telling me to kiss in 15 years or so. This toddler time is so wild - I think I'm more aware this time around - or at least parenting feels a bit more conscious this time. Every day she learns something new. She can follow basic directions now - "give me that," "put the toy in the box" and especially, "spit that out." She's very engaged with the boys and she and Finn spend lots of time playing together now. She's a good sleeper and pretty mild (when she isn't head butting the boys). She still refuses to sit in the highchair and I'm about ready to give the thing away. I cannot tell you how many times I've turned my back to fill my coffee cup, returned to the kitchen table to finish the paper to find her sitting squarely in the center of the table smiling at me.














James has had a good, but challenging summer too. Work has been challenging (in a good way) and he's gathered more and more responsibility. He loves his job and not a lot of people can say that. He's in the best shape of his life - he looks so good. He's been very supportive of me as I'm planning on dipping my toes in the academic waters again this fall. I'm starting at the U for a master's in writing - I'm so excited - this is something I've wanted for a long, long time.

So things are good, but we are not without struggles either. James has been feeling heavy hearted - in all the joy and fun we're having - everything is also colored by a layer of grief. He's been so healthy and open about how hard it has been for him - feeling the absence of his brother and his father every single day in all sorts of different ways. Grief is complicated. It makes you appreciate everything more and yet at the same time makes it hard for your to appreciate anything. James is so grateful for Katie these days. And so am I. Family is the saving grace.