MJ's baptism letter

August 18th, 2007

To Mary Jeanne on the Occasion of her Baptism:

Today we are choosing a faith for you and welcoming you into the extended family of the Catholic Church. We've discovered that choosing your faith is larger and a much longer journey than just baptism and confirmation. Someday, (sooner than we can imagine) you will be able to make this choice for yourself. You "choose" your religion, your faith everyday. And so we are writing this letter as we have done for your brothers to help you understand what and why we believe.

The first thing we know to be true is that all things come from God - you are an especially good example of this. I read somewhere "There is nothing more miraculous than when something so fresh from God loves us." We've come to know God better because of our children - because of you.

In the same way that we know that all things come from God, we also know that all things return. We write this letter with a different perspective on life and faith than we had only a short time ago. Losing your uncle Tom is the heartbreak of our lives. We don't believe that are going through this heartbreak because God wants us to suffer. But in our suffering, we are faced with two options: Believe or don't believe. We've chosen to see God not only in our greatest joy but even in our profoundest sadness.

And so we believe that our faith brings us together - to include those who are no longer here. We go to church and receive the eucharist as a way to be together again with the people who have returned to God. Prayer is the on going conversation we have with God and the saints, including your uncle Tom. It binds us together not just for this day, but for always. And armed with faith, we know that there is no limit to love or to life.

To us faith is an act of stepping outside the narrow confines of our understanding. We believe that faith is the bridge that takes you into the horizon - past where the natural eye enables you to see. So much is a mystery. I cannot tell you why bridges fall down, why people hurt and fail each other, I don't understand what keeps a heart beating and what stops it. But life and goodness are the pieces that give us glimpses of the ethereal side. There is light in the darkness - and our calling is to find...to see...to be the light.

To help you with your journey we have chosen your uncle Nick to be your Godfather. He is someone we have trusted, confided in and looked up to always. He held you when you were only hours old and he declared you "perfect." As a doctor and father of 8, we agree wholeheartedly with his declaration. He plans to be a very present part of your life to ensure you stay that way- which will include a few "lessons in leadership", a lot of Bruce Springsteen and probably a few trips in an RV.

We have also chosen your aunt Andie to be your Godmother. We can write all about choosing and living your faith, but there is no better illustration than Andie's example. Someday I hope you will truly appreciate her strength, wisdom and depth of faith. She is a clear example of "being the light". If you can follow her lead, you will have a rich and wonderful relationship with God. She'll show you how to give direction with polite southern gentility - and you won't realize it at first but she'll give you lots of direction.

We're also celebrating your Grandma Barbara's birthday today. Her light, generosity, and presence have always been great illuminations of her unconditional love for us - they serve as a reminder to be grateful for all of our blessings. We don't know what you will grow up to be like - but we hope that you share some of your grandma's strength, perseverance and wonderful sense of fun and love. On this day, we give special thanks for our new MJ and for her grandma.

We believe in the unconditionality of God's love. God loves us with all our failings, in spite of all our flaws, and that complete and unrelenting love is the model for all our relationships. Our goal is to live a gentle, patient, loving life filled with gratitude and spirituality. We are not always successful but we learn a little more every year, we love a little deeper and we strive to live up to the examples given to us.

Our relationship with God is very real and tangible. We feel God presence in different ways and intensities all the time. We've seen God in sunrises at the Lake - feeling the absolute stillness that comes with God's peace. In sunsets over the ocean and in the breeze off Sandy Hook. When we were on the plane to Charleston after uncle Tom died, we felt God's arms around us. The terror and overwhelming sense of fear was calmed and God helped us be restful as we prepared for the hard days ahead. We felt God with us when the doctor laid you on your mother's chest for the first time. We cried because you were such a special blessing from God to us - in so many ways - ways that I'm sure we'll continue to uncover as you grow up. We see God in the your brothers all the time- sometimes while they're playing together and sometimes when they're sleeping. We are overwhelmed by the sense of it sometimes. I feel God with me right now. We are never alone - and we hope you know that you never will be either.

As our parents believed in us, we also believe in you, in your inherent goodness. We promise to support you, guide you and love you unconditionally as you uncover God in your life.