Halloween!

Happy Birthday, Mr Seamus.

Seamus, 8 year old you is a wonderful kid, and with each birthday we become more grateful for the kind of person you are becoming.

Turning 8 marked a lot of changes for you - no more car seat, 2 grade and the sacraments, becoming a big brother yet again. This is a big year of transitions for you - for us all. As I've said before, you're firsts are our firsts and that makes this year (with a very pregnant and hormonal mom) an exciting one for us all.

Here's what I can tell you about your 8 year old self. You're growing and changing intellectually in leaps and bounds. Every teacher tells parents that this will happen - but it is wild to watch. Reading, math, everything is getting easier for you. Concepts that didn't click in first grade seem simple now. You've always been a good student - but I can see that now you're identifying yourself as a smart kids and that is fun to watch.

You are a reader. When you get home from school often you go strait upstairs to get your book and you'll read until I make you come down. If I can't find you (usually when something needs to be cleaned up) I can almost guarantee that you've found a quiet spot (by the fire in the living room, in the small reading chair in the basement, under your covers upstairs) to "quick just finish" a book that you're excited about. It seems to me that you are almost always "one chapter" from the end of some compelling story.

You are a great big brother. My favorite part of parenting is seeing you kids together. You are already a great role model, a loving supporter, and a good friend to your siblings. You're patient, you're willing to help with retrieving toys or spelling words or including in the game. Finn and MJ do look up to you - 8 years old seems so big to a 4 and 6 year old. Gym has gotten you excited about exercise and so you've taken to running around the block sometimes - you diligently completed the month of Presidential Physical Fitness. It's funny to see you lace up your shoes and holler "I'm going for a little run."

You're testing boundaries a bit too. You like to be in charge, you like to be with the adults and listen in on the adult conversation, you want everyone to know that you're getting older. I think 8 years old is a time for you when you have some history to look back on and it seems like quite a bit of experience. I imagine you'll see past this plateau pretty soon and that will be interesting too.

You are so sensitive. You love school, but have had some challenges figuring out how to navigate recess each day. Most days everything goes smoothly but you've had a few days where you couldn't figure out what to do. One of my favorite aspects of your personality is how you deal with stuff like this. Quietly before bed you asked if I could come in and talk with you. Finn and MJ were asleep you knew that I was getting ready for bed. You told me that you had a hard day finding someone to play with a recess. Your favorite friends were playing 4 square and there wasn't room for you, some of the other kids were playing a game that you didn't like and no one wanted to play what you had in mind. You were a little sad (and overtired) but we talked through what to do when friends don't want to play what you want to play, about how to be flexible and open minded. You didn't think anyone was being mean, or trying to leave you out, you just felt sort of awkward wandering around the playground trying to figure out what to do next. I suggested to talk to a few friends - in particular Jack Krumm - about recess in the morning so you can have a plan for when the bell rings. You thought that was a great idea and promptly rolled over, said thank you, I love you and good night. It was a satisfying moment of me as a mom - I know someday that you'll have worries and problems that I can't solve with a simple suggestion - so I'm enjoying this time while I can.

Honey, this is not the last time you're going to have this experience. It happens to adults all the time. Auntie Sarah and I had a talk about it this week. Our place in the world, in our communities and our families is always changing. Just remember that its up to you to find where you fit best.

After our bedtime discussion, I got into bed and told dad about your predicament. And he said "It's like my childhood all over again." And smiled. You and dad have a lot in common. You both are big hearted guys who aren't afraid or embarrassed to cry. You feel things very deeply. You pay attention to the people around you and are very in tune to how everyone is feeling. You are good listeners. You love to read because you have big minds and imaginations. You hold yourself to high standards. You like to be in charge - and you're good at it. Being liked is important to you - and you work hard at friendships. If ever there was a man to emulate, you're dad is that man. So I think you're on a very good track.

Soon you're going to be a big brother again, and for right now you are SO excited. It makes the whole experience even better for me because you are all eager, enthusiastic and supportive. You've set a great tone for the rest of the kids - no one is worried or nervous - everyone is just filled with joy at the prospect of this new, wonderful baby. You love to feel the baby move, you read to it a few times this summer, you tell EVERYONE that we're having another baby. You are most excited about being an 8th grader when the baby is in kindergarten - right now that seems like the coolest thing ever.

I love you so much - this year is going to be a special one for us. I wish I could bottle you up - your joy, energy, compassion and your wonderful, wonderful smile. I am so thankful that God gave you to us - 8 year old Seamus is a wonderful gift.

Happy, Happy Birthday.

Finn's First Day of Kindergarten

Seamus's First Day of 2nd Grade

Two Lessons

There were so many lovely happenings this summer. Lots of wonderful guests, afternoons full of reading, the kid's discovering of fishing, enjoying and settling into the new cabin and dad having a little vacation. For the most part the weather was wonderful, the kids are healthy and the baby seems to be growing along as scheduled. But I have struggled a lot this summer, I often felt sad (which is not normal for me), I got my feelings hurt a few times (I usually have very thick skin), and its cast a bit of a pall over our time at the lake. Thank God your dad has been so patient with me.

I guess I'm writing this for two reasons first to make some of the struggle feel productive and second to let you know that everyone (even the most positive and enthusiastic people) struggles sometimes. There is no shame in having a hard time, but you do have to find a way forward.

I suppose it should all be chalked up to pregnancy hormones (although I am going in to get my thyroid checked per your father's request) or maybe it had to do with being over committed (which was a common topic of conversation this summer). I lost count of the number of times people told me I looked tired or terrible, which is not a very helpful thing to say to someone. I have cried an awful lot this summer and on the few particularly hard days dad and I could see how my sadness cascaded down through you three. Kids are like a weather vane of their parents emotion.

But being home has helped me to feel a bit better (Winsors are coming for dinner tonight - I'm just realizing that maybe there is a connection). So I've gotten some clarity recently and its gotten me thinking about your futures with the cabin. It is easier to work together (note I didn't say easy) when everything is sailing along smoothly, its harder when we're not all at the same place in our lives, when some of us are struggling.

The Schneeman Family cabins are Grandma and Grandpa's legacy to their kids and we're hoping to be able to pass them on to you and your cousins. In order for a family to be successful with this kind of endeavor (and frankly, very few are) there are a couple of lessons that have become more clear to me.

• Everyone brings something different to the table. While some might be good at cleaning a kitchen others might be handy or just hardworking. Someone needs to pay the bills and attend the meetings, someone needs to bring in the boats and chop the wood. We need each other and all the different things we can offer (practically and financially).
• Clean is relative. Ask yourself would you rather have a immaculate cabin or an empty one and live with the answer.
  
• That being said, be mindful of the mess you make and work hard to be a good steward of your shared space. Often what everyone uses, no one takes care of, so assume it is your responsibility. Don't just check the box, do it right. Open your eyes and see what needs to be done (empty community garbage cans, load wood for someone else's fire pit, clean a community fridge or an oven). A well done job is its own reward.
  
• Watch your words. A kind word will carry a weekend, but a thoughtless one is harder to let go. Imagine everything you say is being overheard.
• Hopefully we say Thank You more than I'm Sorry - but they both matter.
• Be direct. A five minute conversation will serve you better than a memo or an email.
• Share graciously - remember this all started as a gift.
  
• Things break. Don't point fingers, communicate it or even better, fix it. It's incredibly satisfying.
  
• Look for solutions not problems. Solutions are way more fun anyway.
• Always look for strengths in people and remember that at different points everyone struggles. Be the person who lifts people up when they are down. God gave you siblings and cousins for a reason.
  
• There is no place on earth like The Lake. Your grandparents, aunts, uncles and parents have left fingerprints on every aspect of it. Larger than the beauty is the history. Respect it.

This list is a reflection of mistakes I've made and some perspective now that I'm recognizing that if we don't do a good job setting the stage there is very little chance that you'll be able to pass along a piece of the lake to your kids. Hospital corners on clean sheets used to be very important to me - but I'm settling down as I age.

We're now in the second summer of the formal family partnership. Goughs built their cabin, Nick and Erin are finishing theirs. Things are changing around us and change is both wonderful and challenging. We all embrace change at various paces and we all experience it differently. Grandma and Grandpa are now nearly 80 and the grandchildren are now bringing the great grandchildren to the beach.

I don't know what Bottle Lake will look like when you're an adult - I hope the spirit remains very similar to what it is today - which is really just a place for relationships and memories, shared vacation and shared history. Without Bottle Lake, our family would look very different and so we owe a lot to its clean waters and wonderful shores. I hope that my siblings and I have laid the ground work for a continued successful legacy, only you will know for sure.

Emil & Luke Schneeman!

Just finished a lovely trip with the LA Schneeman family. Thanks to Brit for all the unbelievable food (especially the cherry cobbler)!

I met Emil for the first time at his father's funeral (we still miss you George) and a few short years later I can't imagine not having this wonderful part of the family in our lives.

We are so blessed.