MJ vs MJ

My mom announced while we were at the cabin last week that SHE was taking MJ to get a haircut. My sister Mary buzzed the boys heads the day before we left the cabin - they sat quietly, listened to her instructions and were all around very well behaved. When I buzz their hair in the backyard there is screaming, gnashing of teeth and threats of physical violence. And that's just me. I don't know how she does it, but Mary has the touch and the kids don't look like they've just completed their last round of chemo. Thanks, Mare.

Anyway, my mom desperately wanted to get MJ's stringy mop of hair cleaned up - and I can't say that I disagreed. So yesterday she came over and we took MJ to get her second hair cut at KidsHair. MJ, the minor, was at the onset NOT very excited about this occasion. But settled down once she realized we weren't leaving her. Here are some photos...she is getting so big.

I was reminded yesterday - and a lot over the last few weeks - how grateful I am to be a daughter and to have a daughter. Being with my MJs brings me a lot of joy.

Almost Too Much To Say

I have so many things to write about - my fingers and brain feel clogged.

Including: Head Bonk - the new game Seamus and Finn invented (here's a clue, whoever wins isn't crying). School starting - no tears - but one of us is having sleepless nights. Finn's finger and the log splitter (who needs that fingernail anyway...) Seamus's new fears (these ones aren't so funny). MJ on wheels (she walks with her hands on her hips - and loves to tell you No - sound familiar?) Bob and Paula visited the lake (have you seen the movie RV?). My brother and his wife are expecting identical TWINS in February (guess which one - here's a hint, the twins are not currently nursing a hangover from the republican national convention nor are they currently getting ready to play inner-uterus soccer.) So, I've got a lot to get out and not very much time.

Where do I start? Well, how about with Finny and his first real day of preschool. He was elated. Look at how cute he is - seriously - I suppose it sounds strange - but truly you fall in love with your kids over and over again and my heart just bubbled over when he came running out of class. Good work starting school, buddy, you're going to do so great. Seamus also start school - this will be his last year of preschool - next year he's on to bigger and better things. When we were talking about this, we had just dropped off Finn and were heading to the gym. I thought he'd be excited to think about going to a big school. You know the first thing he said? "But if I go to school everyday, when will I ever get to play with Finny?" How's that for falling in love?


I also started school (so help me God). Today I'm having a bit of a crisis of confidence (as Sarah so accurately put it this morning). I know how badly I want to be doing this, I know that it's going to be hard, I also am aware for one of the first times in a long time, I'm truly afraid to fail. Failure for me isn't about the grades or the degree or being spread too thin and in over my head. This fear isn't about just getting a MFA, or writing a book or truly feeling at home calling myself a writer - it's that these are all things that I've always held deep in my soul. I want this so bad. And if I can't do it - I'm terrified I won't know who I am. This is one of the few things that is purely selfish for me - I want James to be proud of me, I want my kids to be proud of me, but frankly, I need to be proud of me. And so begins this journey...

James opened a bottle of champagne on Wednesday night and took a picture of me on my first day of school. The kids are cuter, but you can only work with what you're given.


AND THEN...my mom called at 7:30 this morning to tell me that Eric and Kathy are expecting babies 8 and 9. That will be 40 grandchildren for my parents (thanks guys for taking the pressure of James and I to round out the 38). Now, I am almost irrationally excited about this. I've already bought baby presents. I cried in front of the store clerk while I was shopping for said present. I guess that while I was talking to Eric this morning on the phone (ok, I'm starting to cry again), I thought about how much fun I had as the tail end of my family. And Eric was a big part of that fun for me (even though I hate to admit how much I adore him). And then thinking, TWO babies, wow. Life is full of surprises and more love is never a bad thing. Eric's oldest, Ben, is a freshman in at BC and the youngest, Celia, is our goddaughter, and she's 7. Chris was a freshman at Notre Dame when I was born (dating his future wife, none the less). And Eric was 11. I can just feel how much we're all going to love these babies. We're going to pray for healthy, lively, little munchkins to arrive as a Valentine to big family love. We're going to need fingers AND toes to count all their family now. OK - kids are waking up. More stories later.

Tommy Schneeman's Master Piece

Secret Agent Moose...

Once again, my godkid is cooler than your godkid.

Obviously. My Godkids rule. Jason is getting baptised this weekend and I, unfortunately, am unable to attend.

No reports yet on his conduct at the event, but I'm sure he successfully navigated the baptism process. It must have been my coaching from afar.

For additional godkid pictures - please visit our affiliated site - http://ndauffants.blogspot.com/

Summer Musings

We are having such a lovely summer - I just got home from a spontaneous trip to the cabin with the kids to enjoy some cabin time with two of my sisters and a smattering of nephews and nieces. I'm just feeling very fortunate lately. It has been a beautiful summer. The kids are thriving and healthy. James and I have both have achieved some personal goals. We've got lots of good friends. We've got great family. I sound like a braggy Christmas letter - but I know these times are precious and I want to revel in them as much as I can.

We celebrated my brother Nick's 50th birthday with a surprise dinner party at the house with all of his siblings and most of his children. I think I had more fun than he did - but I'm pretty sure that he had a good time too. These little celebrations of each other and the good fortune to be able to all be together feels like such a miraculous treat. We're so grateful to live so close to Nick and the gang (but just far enough way that I don't have to worry about his urban hunting expeditions - "No, officer, I don't know that deranged man..."). Good times, good times.


We've had a great time with the Winsor clan over the last few weeks too - we watched 19 of the 21 stages of the Tour de France, enjoyed some good food and wine and learned a bit more about bike racing. Mostly we laughed and just enjoyed the time together. This time was also tinged with a bit of anxiety and apprehension as they prepared to send Eric to Iraq - the goodbyes started on the 4th and continued until today as Jeff and Paula dropped him off in Buffalo, MN to board the bus for the airport. He'll spend the next few weeks in New Jersey preparing and training before he actually leave the country. He'll be driving trucks, not very sexy, but very important none the less. I took the kids to the official send off and picnic yesterday in Buffalo. I have my own nervousness for him, and I felt it most strongly while seeing him in formation yesterday. I had my arms wrapped around Seamus and I was whispering to him what the officer was saying to the crowd, and I could feel my arms closing around him thinking about the enormous sacrafice it really is to send your children so far way. He asked me why Eric was going to war. It's hard to explain to most Americans, much less to a 4 year old. We all know its complicated, but I told him because it's what a soldier does. He or she makes a pledge to go where we believe people need defending or where people need help. And I said that's what Eric's going to do - he's made a promise to do his best to make a difference in the world. That's a good promise. We took lots of pictures - I'll add them to the post when I get them from Jeff.

So many moments have passed through us during the last few weeks - I know that I've forgotten so many already - but all I can say is that when they happened I truly enjoyed the moment. As I said before, Seamus is full of all sorts of great questions. He's growing tons too - I can hardly pick him up anymore and there is something very appropriate about how weighty he is. On Monday when I told him I decided we were going to quick pack up and drive up to the lake - he immediately remembered his fishing pole hanging in the garage and told me this was the "best news ever".

































Finn is also changing so much - he's getting taller and thinner - it feels like he looks different every day. The poor thing loves going to the lake, but he always gets sick. He's so patient and good about it too - he spend the entire ride to and from the cabin holding a bag under his chin or else asleep in his booster. Yesterday is got sick while he was a sleep - mostly on his very surprised sister - and he told me he was sorry afterwards. Seriously. I couldn't wish for a sweeter kid.













MJ has finally started walking a bit - although she is still way faster with the crab crawl. She's saying a few words - yesterday she offered me her toes while I was changing her diaper and told me to "kiss" them. It was clear as a bell and the boys and I got quite a kick out of it - I can only imagine the things she'll be telling me to kiss in 15 years or so. This toddler time is so wild - I think I'm more aware this time around - or at least parenting feels a bit more conscious this time. Every day she learns something new. She can follow basic directions now - "give me that," "put the toy in the box" and especially, "spit that out." She's very engaged with the boys and she and Finn spend lots of time playing together now. She's a good sleeper and pretty mild (when she isn't head butting the boys). She still refuses to sit in the highchair and I'm about ready to give the thing away. I cannot tell you how many times I've turned my back to fill my coffee cup, returned to the kitchen table to finish the paper to find her sitting squarely in the center of the table smiling at me.














James has had a good, but challenging summer too. Work has been challenging (in a good way) and he's gathered more and more responsibility. He loves his job and not a lot of people can say that. He's in the best shape of his life - he looks so good. He's been very supportive of me as I'm planning on dipping my toes in the academic waters again this fall. I'm starting at the U for a master's in writing - I'm so excited - this is something I've wanted for a long, long time.

So things are good, but we are not without struggles either. James has been feeling heavy hearted - in all the joy and fun we're having - everything is also colored by a layer of grief. He's been so healthy and open about how hard it has been for him - feeling the absence of his brother and his father every single day in all sorts of different ways. Grief is complicated. It makes you appreciate everything more and yet at the same time makes it hard for your to appreciate anything. James is so grateful for Katie these days. And so am I. Family is the saving grace.

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