Starting with a new view - 1.11.11

So one of my resolutions this year is to get back to the blog. We just finished a lovely visit from Grandma Barbara and its left me feeling a little sad. Finn and I spent a big part of the day today reading through old entries and checking out old photos. It was so fun.

So I'd like to start off the new year with a few words for each of you:

Seamus, 2010 was a sort of remarkable year for you. I can tell you that you love school and that Mrs. Tracy has been a wonderful blessing in your life. One day reading was difficult and frustrating and the next day it was a piece of cake. You feel so grown up to me now - you're great about getting ready for school (most days), remembering your library books and all your assignments. So far you've never missed a spelling word - which means that now you can spell hundreds of words without too much trouble. Wow. You're eager to learn, to share and to make new friends. You raise your hand without fail during the homilies at the all school masses (you even said "hell" in your last answer and worried the priest was going to be mad). Mrs. Vinck told me she laughed out loud.

But the most memorable school moment with you (for me) was when we stopped in to see your kindergarten teacher in the fall. You just wanted to say hello. It happened to be right after All Saints Day and she told me she'd just been thinking about you. She said that the homily on All Saints Day was about the saints that live all around us, the people in our lives who help us see and feel God in our lives. And then she said that you were one of the first people she thought of - that she remembered how good you made her feel last year after her mom died and how much she enjoys seeing you in the hallways now. I feel so fortunate to be entrusting you with teachers as wonderful as these. My hope for you is that in 2011 you continue to develop this love of learning, growing and inventing. I admire your ability to face just about everything with enthusiasm, optimism and creativity. I can't wait to see what comes next!

Finniepie, you are SO ready for Kindergarten. I'm not sorry that we held you back, but boy, are you ready. This last year was a year for real change for you too. You became our hardest worker - the kid always ready to do the job, run the errand, give up something for someone else. You also spread your wings a bit this year. Swimming to the raft in a life jacket, adventuring through the woods with Seamus - some of the worrier in you seems to have gone away over the last year. And that makes me feel so grateful.

You are a peacemaker and a remarkably emotionally intuitive kid. I would say that you became the bridge of the family this year - the child who everyone thinks loves them best. You are MJ and Seamus's best friends. You always know when Dad or I need the extra cuddle or when we're looking for that little bit of extra help. It could be getting paper towels from the closet, helping MJ buckle in the car, matching socks from the laundry or shoveling the front walk. But you seem to be able to do more than most kids your age. It reminds me of uncle Tom when he was older - you couldn't beat him to a job if you tried (and daddy often tried) - but if suitcases needed to be carried upstairs or someone wanted a quick trip to the grocery store - Tom would have been the first to get it done. It is fun to see this same quality in you.

I often think about how much I need you - that's a lot of responsibility for a 5 year old - but you seem to revel in being a reliable kid. You are also incredibly peaceful. Today you spent almost an hour waiting for me while I finished up some work and I realized how patient you are. You brought some new toys up from the basement and played quietly while I was on the phone - you peeked in twice to see if I was done and then went back to playing. I always want to remember to make sure you're getting enough attention - because you just don't demand it like many other kids. But this peaceful presence also gets you a special kind of affection - today you sat on my lap and I read you about two years worth of blog posts and it was so much fun. In 2011, I wish for you a year filled with new adventure - kindergarten, swim team and the independence of being "on your own" during the week. I have to admit that I'm worried about how MJ and I will fare while you're in school - I'm not sure which of us will miss you more - but I'm so eager to see you blossom even more this year.

Mary Jeanne, what can I say? You are aptly named. Now that you're talking (and talking and talking) all the time - we have discovered what a funny girl you are. You are so social, and friendly, you seem to have been born without a tiny bit of shyness. Everyone loves you (and I'm pretty sure you know it). I watch you melt your cousins/aunts/uncles hearts with gentle hugs and kisses (Uncle Nick, Aunt Julie and Grandma MJ are frequent and favorite victims). But then you can have us all laughing one minute later. You are an organizer - you play with your toys like you are a drill Sargent - "Quinn, you sleep here. Celia, you sit here." You also are blessed with a peaceful brother who lets you direct a lot of play time. You were teasing Finn a little last night and he was upset with you. He told you that you were very lucky to have brothers who are so good to you and I had to agree with him. You did say sorry and tell him that you love him - but it was a great example of how lucky you really are.

I love having a daughter. We are having so much fun together - you love when we're able to have some "girl time" and it always makes me feel so fortunate. You are very girlie in many of the stereotypical ways - you love pink and princesses (no matter how much we try and discourage it) - but you are also incredibly strong and practical. You recover from injuries (both emotional and physical) almost immediately and you start every day smiling and eager. You're still young enough that most mornings you crawl into bed with us (often your brothers do too). Dad and I treasure this quiet time with you so much - you like to call it "thinking time". As in "I'm not tired, I just want to do some thinking." We would love to know everything that you're thinking (we hope it isn't plans for world domination). In 2011, you'll be 4 years old. I cannot believe it. I hope that this is a year of learning for you too, a year where we get to just enjoy the precious time before you too are off to school full time. I bet you'll be riding a two wheel bike this summer, swimming to the raft with the boys and as always keeping us laughing, keeping us on our toes.

2010 was an interesting year for me too. I would say a year of lots of reaching and learning. Parenting this year was somehow easier than other years - the kids are just at a simple, wonderful age. Maybe it was easier because we are a little farther from the grief of Tom and Tom or maybe the lake was a healthy distraction for the kids or maybe it was just one of those sweet and golden years. But I will remember it as a gift whatever the reason.

On January 1st, 2010 I formed The Big Picture Project and started on a very special journey (which sadly as you can see effected the frequency of the blog). It's been terribly rewarding as I've met some wonderful people and learned a lot about listening (which was a skill of mine that needed honing). It has been a strange silver lining to the MFA rejection at the U. I've always been interested in telling stories - but now I see that maybe the stories I am supposed to be telling aren't fiction at all. I have the lovely privilege of giving a person and a family back the story of their own rich lives. It is a blessing. And now for the first time in a long time, I feel like the writing is coming back too.

And James, a few words for you. Its been a big year for us - 2010 was unpredictable in that we bought a cabin we never intended to own and I started a venture I never dreamed of doing. We have our dreams for this year - but I also know that what ever 2011 brings for better or for worse - we'll be grateful for sharing it together. I am excited for your half iron man - and a little grateful to not be running another marathon this year. I can't wait for a real vacation at the lake together this year. I guess the thing I wish for us in 2011 - is that we face each day with faith, optimism and togetherness. The first 10 years of marriage were a piece of cake - so grateful to be starting the second 10...Love you.