Easter

Outfits a la Grandma Barbara (obviously).

Sunshine, Vacation & the Sabbath

I've had a hard time posting lately. Actually, I've had a hard time sitting down at the computer without wasting time, so I've been avoiding the office as much as possible. This also means that I haven't been doing any writing lately, which is never good.

But I did get away to Florida with James for three days and had a lovely little break. We went to Orlando (James had a conference) NOT to Disney. I have to be very careful that Seamus doesn't think we went to Disney without him (which, actually we did), but let's try and keep up appearances.

The kids spent one night with Grandma and Grandpa Schneeman which was the first time they've gotten to do this and had a lovely time. They went to several parks including Wentworth (the park of my childhood) and the Como Zoo. They had baths with jets (finally Finn isn't afraid of the tub) and grandma's famous Mac & Cheese. MJ learned the word Darnit - thanks mom - and apparently carried her "baby" around the entire stay. She also slept soundly in between Grandma and Grandpa all night (I'm guessing they slept less soundly). In the morning Grandma was still in bed, grandpa was reading the paper and MJ was apparently roaming the house unsupervised when she came and woke Grandma up.

Grandma: "MJ, are you pooey?"
MJ: "Yep."
Grandma: "Go find Grandpa."
MJ: "Yep."
Feet padding out of the room and down the stairs.
Find grandpa. Wafting nasty smell.
Grandpa changes her.
Success!

The boys apparently lived in the backyard and my dad kept saying to me that he couldn't believe how well they play together. He said he didn't remember playing with his brothers like that as a child. I reminded him that he and his brothers tricked their mom into thinking that George had stabbed him with a kitchen knife, so maybe it was best they didn't play together too much.

Carl and Meg spent the second two nights at our house getting a taste of their future. I think they are pretty happy that they are not having triplets, but I think they also had a good time. We talked to them on the phone several times and both Carl and Meg sounded like old pros. James and I laughed about it a lot - Meg using her teacher voice and Carl using his oldest boy voice. Their kids don't stand a chance for getting into any trouble.

We really appreciated this chance to get away (I didn't realize how badly James and I needed some time on our own until we actually got it). It is very nice to have an uninterrupted conversation once in a while. But the truth is that even for only three days, we missed the kids terribly (honestly) and were happy to be home. We feel so lucky to have all this family around (and willing to help). Thanks Mom and Dad, Carl and Meg!

While on vacation James and I talked a lot about what behaviors we model and want to model for the kids. It got us thinking about making bigger commitments, aiming higher than we do right now. There are so many books out right now about people who give up, or try something new for one calendar year, for example eating totally local foods, not buying anything new, or trying to follow every rule of the bible. There is something admirable about a commitment like this, but it is probably also a little deceptive too (I'd give up a lot of things for a book deal).

But this conversation did lead us to think about living more simply, more thoughtfully. Especially as the kids get older is seems so easy to get caught in the act of trying to keep up or compete. One thing that we're trying to do (since the beginning of Lent) is keep the Sabbath a day of rest and family.

It seems to me that we often equate "busy" with productive, and the truth seems to be less certain. What am I busy with? Does it really matter? Who am I serving? Who am I neglecting? Is my time more related to my things? Or to people?

So now on Sundays, we're trying to focus only on going to Church, talking walks with the family, reading (and napping) with the kids and having a nice, early family dinner in the evening. We found that in the past the jobs around the house, errands or events, made it so that by Sunday night instead of feeling rested we sat down feeling overwhelmed by the week. No matter how much you get done, it never seems like a enough. I never get to the end of my list. The laundry is never finished because none of our children stay clean for longer than three seconds.

So instead of continuing to run inside the wheel like a hamster, we're trying (focus on "trying" because it doesn't always work - I had a meeting last Sunday) to use Sunday to remind ourselves what's really important. Sometimes what's really important is complicated. What if what is keeping you racing around is for the benefit of other people (fixing family computers, making meals, visiting the elderly)? How do you find balance? We recognize that as the kids get older and have their own schedules, this idea will be harder to enforce and yet probably all the more important. If we can't do it now, we'll have no hope of doing it when the kids are involved in sports and more activities.

Life is trial and error, but it is also surprise and blessing.

More later!

Spring Cleaning? Um, clearly No

I was supposed to be cleaning the basement today, instead...

Even Though the Snow Is Melting...

There is one little snowperson just starting to pick up speed! We found out this weekend that my nephew Carl and my niece Meg are expecting a baby on Seamus's 6th birthday! We are so completely delighted - not only for Carl and Meg but for Chris, Cathy and the rest of the crew. They will deliver this little snowbeing six weeks before Pat and Danielle's wedding - which is very reminiscent for us of having Seamus right before Tom and Andie's wedding.

I get so emotional about these new babies in our family (Eric and Kathy's twins are precious) because I feel like having a child (assuming your life is stable enough for it) is such an act of hopeful selflessness. It seems as though we always hear about the down side of having children, the financial crunch, the lifestyle changes, and of course that bad parenting that is all over the news. It seems that there must be 10 monster parents for every good one and I cannot help but believe that just isn't true.

Certainly, there is terrible abuse and neglect that goes on in our world, wrongs that we choose to look away from each day (because it couldn't possibly be our responsibility to stand up and do the right thing). Truly there is nothing harder than parenting because it calls everything we know about ourselves into question. I can't tell you how much being a parent has changed how I view the world - it has not made me more insular and conservative, in fact quite the opposite. Being a parent has made me realize that I have to face the world more bravely, even more brazenly than I would have before. Having to explain poverty, exclusions and mortality to kids, having to say these things out loud makes you listen to what you really believe. Why do people get sick? Why do some children not have houses? Why are those people fighting? I try so hard to avoid saying things like "it's complicated, you won't understand."

But having your first child seems to be the happy/terrifying moment when you realize that you are one (very small) piece of a much larger, magnificent puzzle. And for me at least, the first time I realized how complexly, wonderful that puzzle really is. Children remind us that nothing is impossible, everything has value and that everyone is capable of something good.

One moment you are an island, the next you are a teacher, protector, admirer, admonisher, chief executive officer, janitor, coach and den leader all in one. And "Happy Birthday" will never mean the same thing again.

Each child offers their parents a chance for new birth themselves - a chance to learn, reinvent, rediscover and rejoice. Nothing redefines who you are like meeting your child for the first time - it is a wondrous, miraculous gift. And it is never more clear where babies come from than in those first few, glistening moments of brand new love. Love is the ultimate connection that began long before us and will continue on long after us.

Congrats, Carl and Meg. You're going to be great - and we are so grateful to be able to watch it all happen. Carlo, from playing at the duplex to riding the St. Joe's bus, from babysitting on Theresa Street to picnic's at the lake, from your wonderful wedding to your new house, I treasure this journey with you and your new growing family. Our history is our family, our family is our life's love.

Life is such a blessed brilliance.

Happy Saint Patty's Day! Go Irish!

Go Irish. Seriously, GO IRISH!























Seamus still worships the King.


















Meeting the mayor - not nearly as impressed as seeing the King.


















MJ and Mom enjoy Irish coffee (well, mom mostly).


















Katie really enjoys Irish coffee after attending church with three kids.























Buddies.








































The Dougherty Clan. Happy St. Pat's.

(Thanks Kate for being the official family photographer).

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE IN AN IRISH FAMILY

1) You will never play professional basketball.
2) You swear very well.
3) At least one of your cousins is a fireman, cop, bar owner, funeral home owner or holds political office. And you have at least one aunt who is a nun or uncle who's a priest..
4) You think you sing very well.
5) You have no idea how to make a long story short!
6) There isn't a big difference between you losing your temper or killing someone...
7) Much of your childhood meals were boiled. Instant potatoes were a mortal sin.
8) You have never hit your head on a ceiling.
9) You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling in prayer.
10) You're strangely poetic after a few beers.
11) You are, therefore, poetic a lot.
12) You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.
13) Some punches directed at you are from legacies of past generations.
14) Many of your sisters and/or cousins are named Mary, Catherine or Eileen ... and there is at least one member of your family with the full name of Mary Catherine Eileen .
15) Someone in your family is very generous. It is more than likely you.
16) You may not know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing..
17) You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking before you start talking.
18) You're not nearly as funny as you think you are ... but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.
19) There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.
20) You are, or know someone, named Murph.
21) If you don't know Murph then you know Mac. If you don't know Murph or Mac then you know Sully . Then you probably know McMurphy.
22) You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.
23) You have Irish Alzheimer's... you forget every thing but the grudges!
24) 'Irish Stew' is a euphemism for 'boiled leftovers.'
25) All of your losses are alcohol-related (loss of driver's license, loss of money, loss of job, loss of significant other, loss of
teeth from a punch...) but it never stops you from drinking.
26) Your skin's ability to tan.... not so much.
27) You met your husband/wife/significant other/accountant/lawyer/landscaper/etc. in a bar/pub.
28) Childhood remedies for the common cold often included some form of whiskey.
29) There's no leaving a family party without saying goodbye for at least 45 minutes.
30) At this very moment, you have at least two relatives who are not speaking to each other (not fighting, mind you), just not speaking to each other.

I got this list from our beloved friend Joe, and while we cannot account for all 30 things, I'm pretty sure he can. We're off to church! Let the festivities begin!

Family Portrait. Sort of.

"Look at Mom. Look at Mom! Seriously, I want to take a picture of you rotten kids, loooooook at me!"

And this is the kind of picture I get.
















These ones are after I settled down and asked them who they loved. I guess this only reinforces that I'm not a portrait kind of mom.